We spend so much time worrying about what other people think of us. But the truth is, what other people think of us is none of our business. We cannot control what they think. The only control we have is over our own thoughts.
And other people are going to think whatever they choose to think, no matter how much we try to make it otherwise. We can pretend, lie, dress a certain way and try to be someone we are not, so that they like us, or approve of us, or say nice things about us. But they are still going to think whatever they choose to think.
Interestingly, all this pretending and lying and dressing a certain way, usually means we are not being ourselves. We are not showing up as the real US.
What if we actually stopped trying to control what other people think of us, and instead decided to let the real us, step up. No more pretending. No more worrying what they think. Instead, we just do more of the stuff we love.
The reason we want other people to like us, is because of what we make it mean if they don’t. We think that if someone doesn’t like us, then we must be unlikable. But this is so not true. Weather other people like us or not has very little to do with us. It is all about the experiences and thoughts that the other person is having, or has had in the past.
And we all have our own preferences. For example, we might like Jazz and they love country music. He might like short women and we are tall. She might be a sporty person and we like chess and reading.
Because of our past experiences, our thoughts and our preferences, we all have different likes and opinions.
And the truth is, if we like wearing baggy pants, but wear jeans because of what other people think, then the person who likes baggy pants (and not jeans) will have trouble finding us. And if we like reading but its not cool in our current group, rather than give up reading, we should just go and find a group that likes reading.
So be yourself and be amazing at it and never apologize for who you really are.
Written by Lynda Timperley Btch, Dip Psych, Cert Life Coaching
©2020 Love Life Now Ltd