When you write a list of things that you want (goals), you usually think about stuff that you don’t have. You look at what is lacking in your life. But there are things that you have in your life, already, that you want. For example; I want to be married to my husband, I want to live in a beautiful house in the country, I want to have a great relationship with my children and grandchildren. These things I want and I already have.
You completely change the experience of wanting new things in your life, when you first acknowledge the things you already have. Suddenly you are coming from a place of abundance and gratitude. You are saying that you already have all this good stuff, and you would also like something else. Rather than just having a list of the things that are lacking in your life.
A great way to write a list of goals, is to write one thing that you want that you already have. Then one thing that you want, that you don’t have yet. Then another thing that you want, that you already have, and so on.
Using this strategy my list might look like this:
Things I want in my life (goals).
1 to be married to my husband (Have already)
2 to build a tree hut in my back yard
3 to live in a beautiful house in the country (Have already)
4 to buy a 2015 Ford mustang
5 to have a great relationship with my kids and grandkids (Have already)
When you write your list from a place of abundance and gratitude, you are more likely to feel happy and up-beat about setting new goals. In her book “Positive Psychology” (2012), Bridget Grenville-Cleave (a world leader in the field of positive psychology) suggests that being grateful results in higher life satisfaction and happiness. Whereas if you end up with a list of things you want that you don’t have, you are more likely to feel a sense of deprivation and lack.
By Lynda Timperley BTCH, Dip psych, cert life coach ANZCAL
Acknowledgement: “Positive Psychology” a book by Bridget Grenvill-Cleave.
Brooke Costello, The Life Coaching School.