Improving our self-worth

Feeling worthy is a cornerstone of happiness and satisfaction with our life. Self-worth is not about measuring ourselves on external accomplishments, looks, or possessions, but about valuing ourselves as a human being. A person with high self-worth will treat themselves with respect, love and kindness. They will recognise that what they do, is not, who they are.

The moment we were born, we were worthy. We do not have to earn it by being, or doing, anything. We don’t need the best education, or the perfect body, or the prettiest dress, or anything else, to be worthy. It does not work like that. All of the external things are just optional extras. The truth is, if we are human, we are worthy.

The dictionary defines self-worth as “The sense of one’s own value or worth as a person”. If we don’t think we are worth much, (or as much as other people) then it will show up in our life. Low self worth can lead to anxiety and depression, according to psychologist Adia Gooden. She states that it  can cause us to numb out on drugs or alcohol, or even lead to us attempting suicide, if the pain of feeling unworthy is too much to bear.

To turn this around we need to cultivate a belief in our own self-worth that is based on us being a human. If we are human then we are worthy. Adia Goodman says there are 4 things we can do to improve our self-worth.

1/ Forgive ourselves for any past mistakes. This means we take a lesson from things we did in the past, but then let the past go. It is not who we are today.  

2/ Practise self-acceptance. We do this by consciously focusing on loving ourselves unconditionally. Even the things about us that are different.

3/Be there for ourselves when life gets rough. This means that we don’t dump on ourselves in the times when life is hard. Continue to love ourselves and be kind to ourselves.

4/ Connect to supportive people.  

We get to decide how we think, and how we feel, about ourselves. If we choose to believe we are worthy, then we will treat ourselves with respect, love and kindness. If we don’t feel like we are worthy, then this is an area of life that we need to work on. This is because a healthy self-worth is a major contributor to living a happy, fulfilling life.

If you would like some coaching to help recognize your own self-worth or with anything else, go here, scroll to the bottom of the page and leave me a message.

Written by Lynda Timperley Btch, Dip psych, cert life coaching.

Acknowledgement: Adia Gooden. Cultivating unconditional Self Worth. TedxDePaulUniversity.

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